Where I've been

Life is super hectic as my first year starts to come to a close. I have several research products/presentations that I need to prepare, and soon I'll need to start studying for exams so I can bring my marks up, so I haven't really had time to write. I'm not sure if I'll be doing Screnzy this year or not. I really want to, since I enjoyed it last year, but April is when I'm writing my exams. I'll have to measure my ability to deal with both and go from there, so it's up in the air at the moment. I do have an idea for it, though, so if I decide to do it, it'll all work out.

But, yeah, this is where I'm at. That and having major deja vu apparnetly. It's so distracting I've lost what I was going to say. Anywho, cheers for now!

Melodrama!

Is precisely what my last post was. I was having a very, very bad day. I'm better now, though. I'm also about to, once again, get on the road to revision. This time I'm going to a print shop and having them make a copy of my manuscript so I have physical sheets of paper to mark. I'll keep an update on how it goes, and describe my person process as I discover it. I'm quite excited.

:)

I'm writing again. I'd stop to say more, but I'm on a serious writing high and it feels great, so I'm going to get back to exploiting that. Until we meet again (hopefully sooner than this past chunk of time).

Cheers

The Final(ish) Report

This year's NaNoWriMo was easily the most irritating of all of them. Last years was really not very great either. Much like this year, I primarily hit my word counts through Write or Die. It was one of the best decisions I've made, since I can get 2500 words plus in half an hour so I can get things done. Unfortunately, this year, even with that. I barely managed to finish. My usual schedule involved me writing right after getting up (and showering, since cleanliness is next to godliness, and everyone knows that writers want to be gods, even if only for their own worlds), buuut stuff interfered with that. There were days when I'd get up and have to get straight to working on homework or I slept in and had someone coming up to see me so I had to get straight to getting reading and didn't have time. A lot of the time, those days turned into the ones where I wouldn't write at all. I'm notorious for being the sort who plans to do stuff and then will do everything under the sun to not do it. I will become bored as hell in my attempt to procrastinate as much as possible. Actually, that's exactly what led to this post. I have an English essay that I don't feel like working on, so rather than doing it, I've decided to get around to writing this like I  said I would. The point is, NaNoWriMo was hard.

Actually, any writing is hard. Getting into the habit of writing is one of the best things anyone can do, but also one of the hardest. Part of writing is that you become so attached to the people in your head when you're in that space that you move to when you write, that it an be hard to get into it and then force the characters out of there. Part of what is needed to be a really good writer is to be able to follow where you think is best and let your characters (well, instincts) guide you, but sometimes you have to kick them in the butt. Whether or not you want to some of them will have to die, or be mean, or painfully homophobic. You have to be able to separate yourself from that, but sometimes it's hard to force yourself to do so. They're like your babies, and you don't want people to see all their faults. Instead, you want to stick them into an oversized crib and hire a nanny to make sure that the other kiddies on the playground don't start gnawing on their head or wiping boogers all over them. Really, the best thing you can do is let it go and just run with it and enjoy the entire process. I'm not at that point yet.

I am at the point, though, that I can say I've written more words in a month than many people who want to write will ever spit out in their entire life. And it's all for one book in this case, not a ton of books that I've started and stopped. I took something, moved past the planning stage (that most people get stuck on for whatever reason and never move past - my chair isn't comfy, my space isn't right, I don't have a name for my FMC's third cousin twice removed who you'll never meet but you'll hear about once in chapter seventeen) and done something. It's not something that the world will ever see in this case, at least I've done something. I have accomplished something that was fun, got a story out of my head, and reminded me that I can write. It's pretty darn awesome all around. Now it's time to move on to my next project - working on the novel that I actually like and starting the rewriting process that I've decided to start on fifty million times. This time, I want to get it done. Before that, though, there's a Christmas story that I offered to write someone. But before I can even work on that, I have an English essay to write.

Pfft. Priorities.

Cheers :)

Psst, Izza Secwet

Not really. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done I'm done I'm done. There's a song for that in my head, but I can't explain that without finale. Well, I have reading to go catch up on, so I'm going to go do that, I shall reflect on the entire process at some point later. Ta ta for now!

Validation

Today is the day when I can officially validate my novel and win NaNoWriMo. Theoretically, at least. I can't actually, since I'm grotesquely behind - by 3094 words, in addition to the rest of the words I'd need, which would be dictated by the number of days left. Soooo something like 11k. Which is a lot when you're getting close to exams and have a bunch of super boring homework that you have to do or else risk losing 20% of your mark in a given course. That's why I haven't been blogging much. I haven't had time. That and I've been lazy. Surprise surprise. Anyway, bedtime before another day where I plan to write and the world interferes with my plans. I sincerely hope I win this year. I'm going to do some serious kitten punching if I don't.

Toodles!

Eeeevil

Is the only word that could possible describe homework. I'm now two days behind, but I've kind of got my mojo again, and I've figured out how to make Write or Die work. So hopefully I can take a couple hours this weekend and get caught up. Anyway, I need to get back to edited a critical reflection essay. Happy writing!

Writing in the Red

I'm around a day behind in my word count, which is pretty annoying. I was hoping to build up a buffer this weekend, but instead I only managed to go the opposite direction. Oh, well, it happens sometimes. That's the nice thing about this being my fourth year. I know how it works. I know that there are times that you'll end up very far behind, but that you can just write yourself out of them and everything will be fine. The only time you're ever legitimately screwed is when you get discouraged because of your count and hardly try. That's not the point. The point is to write and enjoy it. If you enjoy it, you'll get up to your word count in no time. Now if only that same principle could apply to history essays...

Bad Days

Today has been a very long day. One of the ones that you dread happening at any point during NaNoWriMo, but especially this early. To begin with, I have a ton of assignments all due within a day of each other and they all have to be done and done well. I have ideas for two of them, one of them is very vaguely outlined and has the first few sentences of the introduction written, but that's about it. I still have a full line of research to complete for another essay where I'm not allowed to use any material from the course text. Next, I have a ton of personal stuff going on that is leaving me very distracted and that is extraordinarily emotionally draining. Couple that with pre-existing procrastination problems and you've got yourself a winning souffle of fail. It means I spend hours staring at pages unable to do anything, and instead skimming around the internet instead of working on my mountain of homework (which includes a ton of reading, too, not just a few assignments) or working on NaNoWriMo.

Which brings me here. It's 10:30 at night and I am exhausted. Plain and simple. I want to work on WriMo, I also want to get the paper done that I swore to myself I'd get done yesterday. But I can't. I have my fingers on the keys and add maybe a dozen words to my file, or I hold my pencil and poke dots onto my paper. Some days, nothing's going to come. Days like today. And what do you need to do sometimes when that happens? Promise to do it in the morning. Make a commitment to follow through. Go to bed.

Good night.

The Joy of Difficulty

I'm behind. Yes, already. No, not by all that much. However, I am still behind. Why? Because I'm a good student! I've been doing homework. I feel that not flunking out of university is marginally more important than focusing solely on NaNoWriMo. It's a close call though. However, anyone else doing this who is putting NaNoWriMo ahead of all of their schoolwork, you're not getting the point! It's for fun! School is not. You're paying lots of money for school, or your parents are in taxes. Writing may be more fun, but if it doesn't work out you'll never be getting into university, and your options'll be reduced. So remember your homework, people!

P.S. Today's post is brought to you by the exclamation point.

First Day

Happy NaNoWriMo everyone! I just finished my word count for today. I'd forgotten what an amazing feeling that is, knowing that you've accomplished that before 9 in the morning. There's something oddly liberating knowing that you have such a concrete goal that you'll just force yourself to write through any rough parts. If only I could do that every other time I hit a wall.

In the past, when I've hid a wall during WriMo, I used this awesome program called Write or Die. I've discovered that I can't with this computer though, since it has a habit of doing very odd things without my telling it to. I discovered this when I was several hundred words in this morning, and it decided to highlight it. Given the speed at which I type, I didn't notice until I'd hit something and it overwrote everything that I'd written. It was a lovely way to start the day. I still managed to finish though. Hopefully that will be my only NaNoWriMo fiasco.

I hope anyone else who's decided to take the plunge doesn't run into any problems. Good luck, everyone, and remember, it's not to late to start!

One Day More

Not only is that one of my favourite songs from Les Mis (my absolute favourite is probably Red and Black), that's also my NaNoWriMo count down! Cue hamsters singing! I'm so excited. This is my favourite month of the year, and something I always look forward to. It doesn't matter what else is going on that's yucky, this always makes everything brighter. Why? Because it gives you an amazing sense of purpose. I love that.

Anyway, I have homework that needs to get done ahead of time so I don't fall behind on WriMo. Good luck to all the other participants!

P.S. I'm pretty sure I've used that to title a post before. Obviously, I really like Les Miserables.

Another Way to Find Me

For those of you dying to see what I've been up to, I have twitter. I update it far more often than I blog, since it's better for being passive aggressive. Like usual, I'm littlestnewt - go follow me!

The Trouble With Length

I like to write novel length stories. Not the ridiculously long door jambs that are 1500 pages and usually full of suckish drivel (and commonly fantasy), but on the in between side. Generally around 75 000-100 000 words, so somewhat on the shorter side, depending on what genre you're looking at. My mind just thinks in ways that produces plot bunnies for really long story lines. Which is why I struggle with short stories. I simply cannot condense my ideas, and my mind won't give me anything straight to the point without millions of little subplots that need to be fully fleshed out to make sense. Therefore, the submission work is going slowly. I was just struck by an idea I had a while ago that would probably fit right in with one place. Whoot! Anyway, I wonder if I'm the only writer who struggles with this problem. I have a feeling I am.

Proper Submissions

I've decided on what shall be my new projects. In preparation for NaNoWriMo (less than a month away!!!!!), I'm going to be attempting to write a series of short stories. When I say series, I don't mean series series, like Harry Potter, I just mean a succession of them. They aren't going to be the same. At all. Hopefully. That's my goal, anyway.

Unfortunately, though, I shall be the only one to see these. For now. You see, it's long been a dream of mine to actually have something published, and since I've realized that the novel publishing just isn't going to happen for a while and I'm not even going to attempt it because people who are pretentious enough to write a first draft and assume it's good enough should never be published. In fact, they should have bricks thrown at them and rusty nails driven through their feet and the roofs of their mouths. I have very strong, hypocritical opinions on those who automatically assume that they're publishable that I shall likely address properly in another blog post at some time (I'll write myself a note on a sticky so I won't forget). Aaaanyway, I'm going to be writing these particular pieces in the hopes that after some serious revision, they may be ready for submission for the 2012 unsolicited season. While some places are okay with the work having being posted elsewhere, many places get very upset, so I'm not going to risk it. Therefore, my writing shall be kept strictly secret until it's either published or turned down so I can avoid legal ramifications. Besides, while I won't give away too much about the plot, I'll be blogging about NaNoWriMo non-stop, most likely, to give those of you who are too lazy to give it a shot an idea of what it's like. It's really not that hard. Seriously. I'm not one of the crazy people who can get a hundred thousand words before it's half over because I happen to have a life, but there's no reason not to try. Try it at least. Seriously.

POINT IS I'm writing again. Yeehaw.

Startling Realization

I just realized that today is my last normal day at home forever. Tomorrow's my last day here, but the evening'll be different because I'll have to be ready for the morning. After Monday, everything changes forever. It's extraordinarily terrifying. But also exciting. There are a million new opportunities now. Anyway, back to writing my BRAND NEW STORY (that's actually going well). Cheers!

Walls

I've run into the wonderful problem that is writer's block. I'm hoping that by writing this blog post I can get into the proper head space to crawl into the mind of a character and get writing. It's at the point where this is causing me physical pain. I keep tensing up just about every muscle in my body (especially my forearms) and now everything is strained and sore (if it's not seizing). Plus now I keep psyching myself out. I can't just relax and write. Now I'm left just kind of struggling for a fully formed idea (I can't come up with enough plot for a paragraph, let alone an entire story - not that I usually write with a plot in mind). I keep thinking I have one and then I lose it. So we'll see. I'm going to go give it another shot. Ta-ta for now!

Gettin' There

I have officially started about three new projects. We'll have to see how they go. I'm hoping they turn out well. Oh, make that four. I found another one in my head I'd like to work on. This is all part of the magic, sitting here and getting the first little bit for a few million things and finding ones that work. Which is what really makes it enjoyable, but frustrating on the days when you just want everything to work. It shows how many places your mind can go, and also proves that nothing's perfect. If you're honestly so shallow as to assume that anything you write is perfect you've got a hell of a lot of work to do. You can be proud of it, but everything can be improved. That's why I get so frustrated with old work, because I can see exactly how it needs to be improved. Perfection is impossible, but continuing to try and always trying to improve your skills is what will really make you a good writer. If you think you've got it down, you'll become stagnant and it just...won't work. That spiraled off into a wonderful block of text, I'll stop talking now and getting working.

Slow Going

I'm starting on a new idea as of today. Since I'm not sure how long I'll stick with it, but I suppose it's about time I get back in the game. I've discovered that when there's a lot of stuff going on, that's it's really difficult to get on with writing. I've had other things to do while I've been up to my ears in writing as well, but never anything like this. Those other times always involved more imminent deadlines. Nothing was quite as concrete, and there was always room for procrastinating. Plus, the things weren't that big. But this time, I can't procrastinate because huge changes are ahead for me in the very near future.

For the first time in my life, I'm on my own. I know it's a transition period, and I'm not really on my own, but my parents aren't living with me. I'll be in my own little room among hundreds of other students all working towards the same general thing - a better future, and something constructive to fill the time with before facing the real world. Everyone's so alike, but nobody's me except for me. And that's what's really filling my head, because I don't know what to do. It's hard to focus on an imaginary world when I'm so invested in trying to figure out my ow and dream up ways to make sure it turns out well.

Plus, I'm one of the lucky ones who gets to put up with that a year early. There are tons of other people leaving, and I know we all mature differently, but it sucks leaving home at 17. I mean, I could've done a victory lap, but I never, ever wanted to. I don't see the value. In all honesty, I think they're stupid. Unless someone has a damn good reason to be taking one (ie expressly needing to be at school to experience one thing or another) they should be out doing something valuable for the community rather than sitting on their asses in a school. I get that people may not be ready to leave home. That's fine. I just don't see the point in taking up space. That part bothers me. Unless there's something you really need to be learning, you could be learning by working part time and also volunteering or something.

Before I get into that rant and offend people more than I likely already have, that's why writing's so rough right now. I've never been in a situation where I desperately want to avoid writing. It's not like writer's block where it's indifferent, this is either I really want to write but can't or I don't want to go near it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm subconsciously afraid of creating something and having it backfire, which could reflect my own world. Or maybe I'll become so invested in something that I completely abandon my attempt to recreate myself at university. Who knows. All I know is that this is the most ominous blank page that I have ever stared at.

Camp NaNoWriMo

(Or whatever it's called, I can never remember the order.) I'm about to embark on the part of my newest WriMo project today. It's nerve wracking, since it was something of a last minute decision (kind of like the first time I did NaNoWriMo now that I think about it - I signed up the day of, I think), and I'm not as gogogo about it as usual, partly because it's a continuation of a story already started. Actually, I'd have even more of it had the jump drive with an additional 3000+ words of it not gone missing. It took me two years to get those 3000+ words, because I hit a major block when it came to writing my character out of that particular situation. Motivation is hard to come by when it's not November.

Anyways, I'm off to read what I've got to remind myself of what's going on. Cheers!