Gay Marriage

Anyone who knows me knows that I am very pro equal rights, and I'm very vocal when it comes to gay rights. A few minutes ago, I was watching an amazing pro-rights video and read the comments, some of which disgusted me. Many of them were based heavily upon religious views (I only noticed Christian arguments, and it's also the relgion I'm most familiar with), so a lot of this shall be in response to the things I read and how I feel about it. I'd like to recognize now that there are extremists who are cruel on both sides, and not everybody who calls themself something believes in the same thing as others, and I'm in no way trying to insinuate this. If I lump people together, it's the people who take it too far, although I may use vague terminology.

So here's the scoop. I really don't care about someone's religion, or their opinion. I am not going to argue with someone who feels that being gay is wrong. It's not fair of me. I may view their opinion as wrong to me, but I will not deny them the right to possess it, and I'd expect the same courtesy from them. I'm not going to fight that battle anymore. I used to, and I still feel the same way about it as I used to, but I've realized it was cruel of me to tell people that their opinion is wrong. That's the thing about opinions. They can't be wrong. They can be ignorant, but, really, they can't be wrong, they're opinions not facts (although presenting an opinion as fact can be disputed). The thing is, when someone's opinion causes harm to others, it's no longer fair. It's valid, but the use of it is one of the worst things someone can do.

What's the harm in this you may ask? You're denying someone else the rights that you enjoy. And why should you be able to enjoy it if they can't? What makes you so different? You believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman? That's great. You're free to marry the person of your dreams who is of the opposite gender. Nobody's asking you not to. But perhaps someone doesn't love someone of the opposite gender. It's not going to hurt your marriage because it's theirs. Your idea of marriage doesn't have to change. You just have to move over a bit so someone else is free to enjoy their version.

I hear a lot that gays can be common law partners or whatever and that's fine. Why is it fine? Why is that any different to you than marriage? Realistically it's an extremely important bond between people that they display in a legal and public manner. Maybe they grew up in the same culture as you where people want to get married. Not every gay does, and not every straight does either. But should everyone have a choice? Not everyone who gets married (even if it's a man and a woman at the focus of the ceremony) believes in a religious version of marriage. They just happened to love someone and want to get hitched. Why shouldn't that stop, too? Why should this be the one thing that people zero in on to enforce? Many people conveniently forget parts of the Bible, such as the slavery, the sacrifice, the shellfish. There's no need for this to be the one thing that people impose on others. If a same-sex couple happens to ask a member of your clergy to marry them, your clergy can say no on the grounds of their belief. That's fine, but should those people not be able to be married in a secular ceremony, the same way that so many men and women are married? Those marriages aren't viewed as invalid, last I checked. They're different, but that doesn't make them wrong.

At the end of the day, it's all about love and loving someone enough to extend the same rights that we enjoy. Love them enough to make their own choices. Is the basis of most Christian belief not that the Lord loved humanity so much that He sent to them His only son? Are you not supposed to love your neighbour, even if that neighbour is gay? Is that not a positive thing? Should you not love someone enough to make their own decisions, as they will do when they love someone enough to decide to marry them (which should be the basis for all marriage, in my opinion, and I'm sure the opinions of many others, regardless of stance on what marriage should be)? Sure, feel free to present your opinions and reasoning to them so that they can understand where you're coming from, but offer them enough love to listen to their reasoning and let them make their own choices. Do not stop them from choosing. If someone who believes in what you do can make the decision to believe whatever they do, and you trust them, trust others. Love them enough to make their own decisions and live their own lives but do not stop them from doing so. Believe in what you'd like, but something like this does not affect you. Fundamentally, they are not asking you to marry someone of your own gender, or to not believe in what you do. They are just asking for your courtesy and respect. Love them enough to give it to them. Love them enough to support them. Love them enough to stand aside and let them appreciate the same things you do. Love them enough to make decisions for their own immortal soul if that is what you are worried about. If your God is loving enough to see that you are being respectful and loving and that you are not allowing someone these pleasures because you do not believe, but because you believe so much in Him and his love for all that you will not stop someone from being happy, I think your soul should be safe. Let them make the decisions about their soul themselves. It does not hurt you.

The Great Christmas Debate (and My Unsolicited Two Cents)

Am I the only one who is horribly offended by the outrage expressed by some people who feel that Christmas is being stolen away from them? Here's the scoop. I celebrate Christmas. Not Christmas as it had originally been which is a celebration of the birth of Jesus (and other nuances that I personally don't fully understand because I'm not particularly religious), but the very commercialized thing that it has become. I like the trees, I like Santa, I like the baking, the snow and the music both secular and otherwise. I used to participate in Christmas pageants every December because I went to a Protestant elementary school (although the only difference between us and a public school was that we said the Lord's Prayer in the morning - which was not mandatory, you just had to stand as a sign of respect for the belief of others - and read Bible stories at our weekly assemblies; we had Sikh students and Jewish students and any other number of different religious representations so we were hardly picky). I'm accustomed to saying "merry Christmas" to people when I wish them well during the holiday season.

The thing is, though, not everyone celebrates Christmas. Which, quite frankly, I think is totally awesome. I like seeing the diverse way in which people spend their time and celebrate. It is well within their rights as humans to do so. Conformity shouldn't be mandatory. I would never demand that someone wish me a merry Christmas if they don't celebrate it. It's shallow and unreasonable of me to do so. Fundamentally, regardless of what you believe in, it's a matter of opinion about what you choose to celebrate. You may have your reasons to do so, but they back up opinion not fact. The people who celebrate the Solstice are just as valid as those who celebrate Hanukkah, and the same goes for the Christians who celebrate Christmas. Nobody is trying to take your Christmas away from you, you're still welcome to celebrate it. It's horribly impolite, though, to shove it down anyone else's throats. Is that not fundamentally what the fuss is about? People who celebrate Christmas feel that the people who celebrate other things are shoving it down their throats by protesting?

The way I see it is that a lot of it comes down to the who was here first debate. Since Christianity is the overwhelmingly dominant religion, it is seen as the one that people must abide by, for we live in "Christian" nation. It was what was here first, the Christian people. Actually, if we're going to go into that, if you're white and Christian, you don't belong here. Regardless of how long your family has been here, you are technically an immigrant and your religion is a transplant from another place. It was the religion and way of life that was, at times, violently forced upon the people who were here first - the indigenous population (and I apologize if I'm not using the correct terminology, it keeps changing and I'm never sure what to say). In saying that you have to keep Christmas, are you not denying other people the right to practice celebrations associated with ways of life that are far older than yours?

And if you're one of the people who says that they're welcome to celebrate it, but they're to keep it in their own homes and to themselves, I would like to be hypocritical and say that I want to put you through a window. In believing such things you are doing EXACTLY what you don't want everyone else to do - shut you away in a closet. If you don't believe in what they are doing, that's perfectly fine, but don't you dare oppose it. Nobody has any more right than anyone else. If you wish to illustrate your allegiance to a particular belief set, go for it, but everyone else should be allowed to, too. The next time you're told to wish someone a happy holidays and you want to object, can you honestly say that you would be perfectly fine participating in Hanukkah pageant (for instance) and being wished a happy Hanukkah? If so, feel free to wish someone a merry Christmas. You're allowed to. It's called religious freedom. But they're just as free to say that they don't want to participate in something that's Christmas and that they'd like some sort of representation, too. Never have I ever been wished anything but a happy holidays or merry Christmas, and I would be honoured to think that someone would think highly enough of me to wish me the best of whatever they believe in, regardless of what that may be. I see it as less them forcing their beliefs upon me, and more that they care enough about me to want me to qualify in a category that they value above all others.

That's what I think about all of this. I personally cannot represent all celebrations, religious or secular, but I welcome other people to help me. After all, isn't the point to everything to value love and togetherness, regardless of what it's called?

P.S. Yay for rants that don't make sense! If you're offended, feel free to tell me why. I love to hear people babble on in the righteous manner that I always do.