For those of you who haven't clued in - I'm crazy! No, seriously. I suffer from a clinical mental disorder. I have OCD, as well as accompanying debilitating social anxiety disorder (we're investigating if it's a product of my OCD or a separate condition). Alongside that I've had to deal with depression, and self-harm (moderate cutting and dermatillomania - ie obsessive skin picking). Because my best friend also suffers from a mental disorder, we decided to vlog about it, and our experiences. We've had a very positive response so far, until today when someone decided to be very accusatory and a total know-it-all because he happens to suffer from something that I mentioned. Rather than say what he didn't like, he (paraphrasing here) said that we aren't qualified to talk about mental illness, and his is more difficult to deal with than ours.
That upset me. Immensely. I can take constructive criticism. I can respond well to that, and figure out how to adjust it when people tell me what I did wrong. Instead, he belittled our efforts to provide a positive space for other people going through similar things to what we are. We weren't at all trying to say that we know everything. That couldn't be farther from the truth. In the context of the video, I simply mentioned that borderline personality disorder is an example of mental illness, and that people are often misdiagnosed as bipolar when they have bpd, which means that they aren't necessarily given proper treatment. Which is bad. I was more trying to bring more awareness to bpd (which is often very overlooked, sadly), but I suppose my intentions were misunderstood. Now I'm fretting that I've done something wrong and also very angry that someone would have the audacity to be so cruel about it. I checked out this gentleman's channel, and he seems to discuss bpd in all his videos, presumably to raise awareness, much the way we are (although for us in a more general way right now). It's like he thinks we're enemies when were working towards a common goal - showing that there are others out there going through things and that sometimes life is tough. I get the feeling he's the sort who blames everything on his illness, and that the world hates him. Sometimes you just have to go through it and make the best out of it. Be someone with and illness, don't let it define you. It's only a part of the bigger picture, and it's all about what you make of it. My friend and I are turning it into an opportunity for us to bond, and to hopefully help others.
The side effect of me being so antsy about this has to do with adrenaline. When I get agitated, my flight response goes into overdrive and I shake uncontrollably, get chills and have difficulty breathing. It also usually leaves me exhausted, but unable to sleep for a very long time and with a horrible headache. Basically, in his search for conflict, the lovely composer63 has left me extremely ill, but I'm sure he's sleeping just fine. In the future, the folks at luneverse (our channel) shall just delete those comments if they aren't polite.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Gay Marriage
Anyone who knows me knows that I am very pro equal rights, and I'm very vocal when it comes to gay rights. A few minutes ago, I was watching an amazing pro-rights video and read the comments, some of which disgusted me. Many of them were based heavily upon religious views (I only noticed Christian arguments, and it's also the relgion I'm most familiar with), so a lot of this shall be in response to the things I read and how I feel about it. I'd like to recognize now that there are extremists who are cruel on both sides, and not everybody who calls themself something believes in the same thing as others, and I'm in no way trying to insinuate this. If I lump people together, it's the people who take it too far, although I may use vague terminology.
So here's the scoop. I really don't care about someone's religion, or their opinion. I am not going to argue with someone who feels that being gay is wrong. It's not fair of me. I may view their opinion as wrong to me, but I will not deny them the right to possess it, and I'd expect the same courtesy from them. I'm not going to fight that battle anymore. I used to, and I still feel the same way about it as I used to, but I've realized it was cruel of me to tell people that their opinion is wrong. That's the thing about opinions. They can't be wrong. They can be ignorant, but, really, they can't be wrong, they're opinions not facts (although presenting an opinion as fact can be disputed). The thing is, when someone's opinion causes harm to others, it's no longer fair. It's valid, but the use of it is one of the worst things someone can do.
What's the harm in this you may ask? You're denying someone else the rights that you enjoy. And why should you be able to enjoy it if they can't? What makes you so different? You believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman? That's great. You're free to marry the person of your dreams who is of the opposite gender. Nobody's asking you not to. But perhaps someone doesn't love someone of the opposite gender. It's not going to hurt your marriage because it's theirs. Your idea of marriage doesn't have to change. You just have to move over a bit so someone else is free to enjoy their version.
I hear a lot that gays can be common law partners or whatever and that's fine. Why is it fine? Why is that any different to you than marriage? Realistically it's an extremely important bond between people that they display in a legal and public manner. Maybe they grew up in the same culture as you where people want to get married. Not every gay does, and not every straight does either. But should everyone have a choice? Not everyone who gets married (even if it's a man and a woman at the focus of the ceremony) believes in a religious version of marriage. They just happened to love someone and want to get hitched. Why shouldn't that stop, too? Why should this be the one thing that people zero in on to enforce? Many people conveniently forget parts of the Bible, such as the slavery, the sacrifice, the shellfish. There's no need for this to be the one thing that people impose on others. If a same-sex couple happens to ask a member of your clergy to marry them, your clergy can say no on the grounds of their belief. That's fine, but should those people not be able to be married in a secular ceremony, the same way that so many men and women are married? Those marriages aren't viewed as invalid, last I checked. They're different, but that doesn't make them wrong.
At the end of the day, it's all about love and loving someone enough to extend the same rights that we enjoy. Love them enough to make their own choices. Is the basis of most Christian belief not that the Lord loved humanity so much that He sent to them His only son? Are you not supposed to love your neighbour, even if that neighbour is gay? Is that not a positive thing? Should you not love someone enough to make their own decisions, as they will do when they love someone enough to decide to marry them (which should be the basis for all marriage, in my opinion, and I'm sure the opinions of many others, regardless of stance on what marriage should be)? Sure, feel free to present your opinions and reasoning to them so that they can understand where you're coming from, but offer them enough love to listen to their reasoning and let them make their own choices. Do not stop them from choosing. If someone who believes in what you do can make the decision to believe whatever they do, and you trust them, trust others. Love them enough to make their own decisions and live their own lives but do not stop them from doing so. Believe in what you'd like, but something like this does not affect you. Fundamentally, they are not asking you to marry someone of your own gender, or to not believe in what you do. They are just asking for your courtesy and respect. Love them enough to give it to them. Love them enough to support them. Love them enough to stand aside and let them appreciate the same things you do. Love them enough to make decisions for their own immortal soul if that is what you are worried about. If your God is loving enough to see that you are being respectful and loving and that you are not allowing someone these pleasures because you do not believe, but because you believe so much in Him and his love for all that you will not stop someone from being happy, I think your soul should be safe. Let them make the decisions about their soul themselves. It does not hurt you.
So here's the scoop. I really don't care about someone's religion, or their opinion. I am not going to argue with someone who feels that being gay is wrong. It's not fair of me. I may view their opinion as wrong to me, but I will not deny them the right to possess it, and I'd expect the same courtesy from them. I'm not going to fight that battle anymore. I used to, and I still feel the same way about it as I used to, but I've realized it was cruel of me to tell people that their opinion is wrong. That's the thing about opinions. They can't be wrong. They can be ignorant, but, really, they can't be wrong, they're opinions not facts (although presenting an opinion as fact can be disputed). The thing is, when someone's opinion causes harm to others, it's no longer fair. It's valid, but the use of it is one of the worst things someone can do.
What's the harm in this you may ask? You're denying someone else the rights that you enjoy. And why should you be able to enjoy it if they can't? What makes you so different? You believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman? That's great. You're free to marry the person of your dreams who is of the opposite gender. Nobody's asking you not to. But perhaps someone doesn't love someone of the opposite gender. It's not going to hurt your marriage because it's theirs. Your idea of marriage doesn't have to change. You just have to move over a bit so someone else is free to enjoy their version.
I hear a lot that gays can be common law partners or whatever and that's fine. Why is it fine? Why is that any different to you than marriage? Realistically it's an extremely important bond between people that they display in a legal and public manner. Maybe they grew up in the same culture as you where people want to get married. Not every gay does, and not every straight does either. But should everyone have a choice? Not everyone who gets married (even if it's a man and a woman at the focus of the ceremony) believes in a religious version of marriage. They just happened to love someone and want to get hitched. Why shouldn't that stop, too? Why should this be the one thing that people zero in on to enforce? Many people conveniently forget parts of the Bible, such as the slavery, the sacrifice, the shellfish. There's no need for this to be the one thing that people impose on others. If a same-sex couple happens to ask a member of your clergy to marry them, your clergy can say no on the grounds of their belief. That's fine, but should those people not be able to be married in a secular ceremony, the same way that so many men and women are married? Those marriages aren't viewed as invalid, last I checked. They're different, but that doesn't make them wrong.
At the end of the day, it's all about love and loving someone enough to extend the same rights that we enjoy. Love them enough to make their own choices. Is the basis of most Christian belief not that the Lord loved humanity so much that He sent to them His only son? Are you not supposed to love your neighbour, even if that neighbour is gay? Is that not a positive thing? Should you not love someone enough to make their own decisions, as they will do when they love someone enough to decide to marry them (which should be the basis for all marriage, in my opinion, and I'm sure the opinions of many others, regardless of stance on what marriage should be)? Sure, feel free to present your opinions and reasoning to them so that they can understand where you're coming from, but offer them enough love to listen to their reasoning and let them make their own choices. Do not stop them from choosing. If someone who believes in what you do can make the decision to believe whatever they do, and you trust them, trust others. Love them enough to make their own decisions and live their own lives but do not stop them from doing so. Believe in what you'd like, but something like this does not affect you. Fundamentally, they are not asking you to marry someone of your own gender, or to not believe in what you do. They are just asking for your courtesy and respect. Love them enough to give it to them. Love them enough to support them. Love them enough to stand aside and let them appreciate the same things you do. Love them enough to make decisions for their own immortal soul if that is what you are worried about. If your God is loving enough to see that you are being respectful and loving and that you are not allowing someone these pleasures because you do not believe, but because you believe so much in Him and his love for all that you will not stop someone from being happy, I think your soul should be safe. Let them make the decisions about their soul themselves. It does not hurt you.
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