If you haven't already heard, on October 10, 2012 Amanda Todd - a victim of horrific bullying - took her own life. She wasn't yet 16.
This hit me really hard. In grade 10, a girl in my grade hanged herself because of the same reason. Nobody had any warning. One day she was just gone. While we weren't friends, I was in a bunch of classes with her and we were both in the school play the year before. The last time I spoke to her was on anti-bullying day.
But people had warning for Amanda. She put a video on youtube detailing all that she had gone through a month before this all happened. And either nobody noticed, or nobody was able to step in and take it seriously and help this poor, broken girl. This has been happening all to often.
One of the worst things that I'm finding are all the heartless comments on articles and copies of her original video. People are blaming her. Since when is it appropriate to blame the victim? Ever? It's like the view that wearing a short skirt means you're "asking" to be raped - it doesn't work like that. Speaking from experience, NOBODY asks to be bullied. I don't care if you don't approve of her behaviour or think that she didn't learn when she should've, she was still beaten and tormented and abandoned by everyone. Nothing warrants that. Nothing.
There's also the view that she's a horrible, selfish person for committing suicide because it doesn't accomplish anything. It doesn't get the bullies to stop. And it does hurt those left behind. But don't you dare imply that it's selfish. Is it selfish to want someone to make it stop? Is it selfish to want to not hurt? I don't care how much you've been through and that you're still here - she couldn't take it. And that's what matters. She had put up with so much that she just wanted the hurting to end. She was in so much pain that she couldn't hang on any more. That is nobody's fault but the bullies' and those who didn't stop them. Her family is hurting, her friends are hurting and all of us who have ever been affected by bullying should be hurting too because someone out there felt so alone that they had to take themselves away from those who loved them, even if they didn't show it enough. And now they'll never have that chance.
This needs to stop. I know writing this isn't going to help, but sometimes it helps to write it out. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that everyone has been a bully at some point or another, even if you try not to be. Sometimes that little comment you make hurts someone more deeply than you can possibly imagine, even if it's perfectly benign to you. We need to stop that, and stop the outright stuff too. Online or off, we really need to learn that what we say and do impacts others. Even if you feel justified, don't do it. It'll take a conscious effort and a lot of time, but people can change. We can also be nicer. Sometimes sitting with someone or asking the lost looking person just sitting there when assigned to groups to join yours can make all the difference. You may just meet someone for a class, or you could make a friend. You never know, and if nothing else, I can guarantee you that that person will appreciate it more than you can know. Sometimes the little things add up, and that goes in either direction. Maybe if we're all better people at least most of the time we won't be losing anymore beautiful children. Maybe.
It's worth a shot.
